“Yeah Dad, I love that you’re home 24/7 now. Except for your talking and breathing and chewing like a rabid wildebeest,” I sniped.
I admit it, sheltering in place with all six of us under the same roof day in and day out was driving me batty and the ugly side of the Tedinator was comin’ out big and bad.
Even Mama Kitty had turned into a basket case. Literally.
To beat the doldrums, I began watching “Animal Planet” and eating junk food around the clock. At one point, I’d blown through six bags of Ruffles before I even knew I was eating.
All that salt left me lookin’ like a bloated toad, and with my grooming appointments put on hold, my hair was lookin’ a little less than fresh. In fact, my roots had grown out so long, Mom mistook me for a skunk one day. She screamed so loud I thought she’d run outta Twinkies.
From then on, I wouldn’t even sit on the deck without a bandana. And oh yeah, I bet you thought I was a natural redhead, huh? Well that secret’s out the window!
I decided enough was enough! We had to escape these four walls or we were all gonna lose it. I planned a picnic for the very next day.
With a cooler packed full of treats and water, we were on our way to the car when Violet suddenly stopped and looked upward, with a look of confusion on her face.
“Hey Spaz Man, what’s that big yellow thing in the sky?”
“That, little sister, is called the sun,” I replied.
Oh boy, we definitely needed to get outside!
We arrived at Red Top Mountain and the weather was absolutely gorgeous. We had hiked a few miles when we came across this quiet little spot. It was perfect! And get this, it was the only picnic table with a sign that read, “Dogs Allowed to Stand on Table.” Wow, what are the odds?
We drank, we ate and we sat there for what felt like hours just soaking up all natural goodness of the great outdoors.
That day was a turning point for us. From then on, we vowed to walk around our neighborhood and stroll downtown a few times a day. Mama Kitty even jumps in her stroller and goes with us sometimes.
Mom and Dad have also been going on a lot more bike rides. They ride to Rope Mill Park and have explored every trail around. And with Yogi being the 10-pound runt that he is, he gets to ride with Mom like a little king. Of course, he makes them stop for a pic now and then. Gotta give it to him, dude knows his lighting.
So yeah, this “new normal” has definitely been an adjustment, but if you think (and get outside of the box, aka your house) you’ll find that that big yellow thing in the sky is shining just as brightly as ever. And as long as you have your family, life is good!
– Teddy the Spaz Man is a social media dog and not-so-humble Hallmark star living in downtown Woodstock