I recently saw a post on Facebook that spoke to my heart. Although it was posted under the caption, “aging gracefully,” I can’t help but think it could benefit all, regardless of age. It read:
“It is not what you do, it is how you do it. It’s not what you see, it’s how you look at it. It’s not how your life is, it’s how you live it.”
Over the years, as a counselor and now as a pastor, I have worked with many families. It still breaks my heart when I see how
family members sometimes treat one another. I do understand that “hurt people, hurt other people.” And, oftentimes, when people are hurt badly enough, their hearts become hardened — toward those who have hurt them and toward others.
If you are reading this and have been hurt, you may be wondering what you can do. First, recognize that you have no control over what others do, but you always have a choice of how to respond.
Then, realize you are being shaped by those around you and by what happens to you in this world. Also realize God has given you the gift of choice. You can choose to be like those who hurt you and hurt back, or you can choose to turn to God and ask for help. God has the power to help you speak the truth in love. Even in the midst of intense pain, we all have choices of what we will do, how we will look at what is happening and how we choose to live our lives. We can turn to God for strength and courage.
If you find your heart has become hardened toward another, claim God’s promise in Ezekiel 36:26-27 when he was restoring the nation of Israel. “I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. And I will put my spirit in you and move you to follow my decrees and be careful to keep my laws.”
When asked which was the greatest commandment in the law, Jesus replied, “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the law and the prophets hang on these two commandments.” — Matthew 22:37-40
May we learn to do whatever we do with love. May we learn to see things from God’s perspective, and may we learn to live a life speaking truth in love and showing grace and mercy.
In loving God and loving our neighbor as ourselves, may we never abuse others with our words or actions or remain in abusive situations.
– Ann Garvin is co-pastor at The Way Woodstock. She is a mother, grandmother and wife, but foremost a disciple of Jesus Christ. revagarvin@bellsouth.net.
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