{"id":300,"date":"2021-11-16T00:00:00","date_gmt":"2021-11-16T00:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/nice-cori.104-207-151-122.plesk.page\/?p=300"},"modified":"2021-11-16T00:00:00","modified_gmt":"2021-11-16T00:00:00","slug":"4-words-certain-to-ruin-thanksgiving","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/aroundwoodstockmagazine.com\/4-words-certain-to-ruin-thanksgiving","title":{"rendered":"4 Words Certain To Ruin Thanksgiving"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n

Thanksgiving is a time to gather under the table, eat dropped food and \u2026 ask my Facebook followers to ruin Thanksgiving in four words. Turns out, there are lots of ways to ruin Thanksgiving, and holy giblets, my faithful fans did not hold back!<\/p>\n

With more than 600 comments, we heard everything from cooking disasters to awkward family moments. But, as you can probably guess, on the top of everyone\u2019s mind was the desecration of the oh-so righteous turkey.<\/p>\n

Several people also joked about booze, or lack thereof, with zingers like, \u201cWe\u2019re out of wine!\u201d And, many made comments on the most awkward things they could think of, from clogged toilets to lost teeth. Oh, the horror.<\/p>\n

So, if the upcoming holidays are already raising your blood pressure, hopefully these ways to ruin Thanksgiving in four words will put a smile on your gluten-free, tofurkey face.<\/p>\n

\"\"
I loveee eating turkey, but wearing a turkey hat? No, thanks.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Family, friends and who?<\/strong>
\n\u2022 \u201cYour ex is here.\u201d
\n\u2022 \u201cAunt Betty is here.\u201d
\n\u2022 \u201cGrandma is drunk again.\u201d
\n\u2022 \u201cHere comes Uncle Drunkie.\u201d
\n\u2022 \u201cRemember that time you \u2026 \u201d
\n\u2022 \u201cHis mother is coming.\u201d
\n\u2022 \u201cMawMaw\u2019s comin\u2019 for dinner.\u201d
\n\u2022 \u201cWhy is Granny naked?\u201d
\n\u2022 \u201cGrandpa lost his pants.\u201d
\n\u2022 \u201cOh, yeah, you\u2019re adopted.\u201d
\n\u2022 \u201cWhy are you here?\u201d<\/p>\n

Food, food, glorious food.<\/strong>
\n\u2022 \u201cAlcohol-free, tofu, in-laws.\u201d
\n\u2022 \u201cDenny\u2019s is closed today.\u201d
\n\u2022 \u201cDesserts are gluten-free.\u201d
\n\u2022 \u201cI forgot the gravy.\u201d
\n\u2022 \u201cI made something new!\u201d
\n\u2022 \u201cNo carbs this Thanksgiving.\u201d
\n\u2022 \u201cPlease pass the \u2018possum.\u201d
\n\u2022 \u201cIt\u2019s all completely vegan.\u201d
\n\u2022 \u201cWe\u2019re out of wine!\u201d
\n\u2022 \u201cDoes this smell OK?\u201d
\n\u2022 \u201cI dropped the pie.\u201d
\n\u2022 \u201cWho wants some bologna?\u201d
\n\u2022 \u201cKeto food for everyone!\u201d
\n\u2022 \u201cGreen bean casserole, ew.\u201d
\n\u2022 \u201cRocky mountain oyster stuffing!\u201d
\n\u2022 \u201cWhy\u2019s the oven smoking?\u201d
\n\u2022 \u201cI forgot the booze.\u201d
\n\u2022 \u201cI\u2019m on a diet.\u201d
\n\u2022 \u201cWe don\u2019t drink here.\u201d<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t be a turkey.<\/strong>
\n\u2022 \u201cThe turkey just exploded.\u201d
\n\u2022 \u201cIs turkey usually pink?\u201d
\n\u2022 \u201cThat ain\u2019t no turkey!\u201d
\n\u2022 \u201cAnyone bring a turkey?\u201d
\n\u2022 \u201cMedium rare turkey, please.\u201d<\/p>\n

Um, yeah, that\u2019s awkward.<\/strong>
\n\u2022 \u201cI found a toenail.\u201d
\n\u2022 \u201cI have food poisoning.\u201d
\n\u2022 \u201cI lost a fingernail.\u201d
\n\u2022 \u201cI\u2019m sick as heck.\u201d
\n\u2022 \u201cI joined a cult.\u201d
\n\u2022 \u201cI lost my Band-Aid.\u201d
\n\u2022 \u201cTime to clean up.\u201d
\n\u2022 \u201cSal-mon-ell-a!\u201d
\n\u2022 \u201cThe toilet is clogged.\u201d
\n\u2022 \u201cWhere are my teeth?\u201d
\n\u2022 \u201cThe cops are here.\u201d
\n\u2022 \u201cLet\u2019s talk about politics.\u201d
\n\u2022 \u201cI sneezed in it.\u201d
\n\u2022 \u201cIs that a hairball?\u201d<\/p>\n

And, last but not least, \u201cHuman hair in gravy.\u201d Because, we all know if it\u2019s a dog hair, we\u2019ll just keep on eating! Aaawoooooooo!<\/p>\n

\u2013 Teddy the Spaz Man, a social media dog and not-so-humble Hallmark star living in downtown Woodstock. Facebook\/Instagram: @teddythespazman.<\/em><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

<!–<\/p>\n

–>\n<\/p><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Thanksgiving is a time to gather under the table, eat dropped food and \u2026 ask my Facebook followers to ruin Thanksgiving in four words. Turns out, there are lots of ways to ruin Thanksgiving, and holy giblets, my faithful fans did not hold back! With more than 600 comments, we heard everything from cooking disasters […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"rank_math_lock_modified_date":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[4,8],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-300","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-blog","category-home-blog"],"featured_image_src":null,"featured_image_src_square":null,"author_info":{"display_name":"aroundwoodstoc","author_link":"https:\/\/aroundwoodstockmagazine.com\/author\/aroundwoodstoc"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/aroundwoodstockmagazine.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/300","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/aroundwoodstockmagazine.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/aroundwoodstockmagazine.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/aroundwoodstockmagazine.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/aroundwoodstockmagazine.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=300"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/aroundwoodstockmagazine.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/300\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/aroundwoodstockmagazine.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=300"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/aroundwoodstockmagazine.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=300"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/aroundwoodstockmagazine.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=300"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}