{"id":2070,"date":"2019-12-04T00:00:00","date_gmt":"2019-12-04T00:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/nice-cori.104-207-151-122.plesk.page\/?p=2070"},"modified":"2019-12-04T00:00:00","modified_gmt":"2019-12-04T00:00:00","slug":"teddys-christmas-wish-list","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/aroundwoodstockmagazine.com\/teddys-christmas-wish-list","title":{"rendered":"Teddy\u2019s Christmas Wish List"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n

Dear Santa,
\nI\u2019ve been a good boy all year long, and I just know you\u2019ll agree after I tell you all the wonderful things I\u2019ve done. I\u2019ve numbered \u2019em so you don\u2019t miss anything. And it\u2019s long so you might wanna grab me some popcorn.<\/p>\n

\"\"
Teddy eavesdropping on the neighbors.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

My Good Boy Deeds<\/strong><\/p>\n

1.<\/strong> When I had an accident in the living room, I was totally gonna fess up, but then I overheard Yogi bellyaching about how he never gets enough attention so I selflessly pointed the finger at him, but did he thank me? Nope! The little ingrate just sat and glared at me. Rude.
\n2.<\/strong> For mom\u2019s birthday, I took her on an all-expense-paid guilt trip to PetSmart.
\n3.<\/strong> Dad was feeling a little neglected, so I gave him a brand new set of fully loaded poop bags. Bet the neighbors are soooo jelly.
\n4.<\/strong> I totally stopped eavesdropping on my neighbors. Unless they\u2019re fighting, then all bets are off. What?! My name\u2019s not SAINT Teddy!
\n5.<\/strong> I was even super sweet to Violet! After I diagnosed her with a severe case of lactose intolerance, I stole her stash of Milk Bones. Pretty sure I saved her life.
\n6.<\/strong> Mom hates doing her hair so I snuck into the shower, emptied her shampoo bottle and filled it up with Nair. Now she\u2019s a changed woman! She cries happy tears all day long and she\u2019s so grateful, she never wants to leave my side. Must be why she hasn\u2019t left the house since. Win-win!
\n7.<\/strong> I used to hog the TV. Now, I just watch a little football.<\/p>\n

OK, time for my demands \u2013 err \u2013 Christmas list.<\/p>\n

\"\"
Teddy on his brutal ride after a Taco Bell run.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

My Super Modest List<\/strong><\/p>\n

1.<\/strong> Please make me 3 inches taller so Violet doesn\u2019t get me in her death grip every time she walks by. Not to mention, her breath be stanky.
\n2.<\/strong> Please install a secret doggie door to the cheese drawer. And some more gourmet options wouldn\u2019t hurt either.
\n3.<\/strong> For the love of dog, please, please, please get me some heavy duty nose plugs. Those car rides after a Taco Bell run are brutal.<\/p>\n

OK, well that\u2019s it, Santa! Told ya I\u2019ve been a super duper good boy!<\/p>\n

Love,
\nTeddy the Spaz Man(the bestest boy in the whole wide world)<\/p>\n

P.S. I do have ONE confession. Ya know how my neighbor Mr. Johnson always be trippin\u2019? Well, I kinda push him. Heh, heh, just call me Rude-olph.<\/p>\n

\"\"
Heh, heh, just call me Rude-olph.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

<!–<\/p>\n

–>\n<\/p><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Dear Santa, I\u2019ve been a good boy all year long, and I just know you\u2019ll agree after I tell you all the wonderful things I\u2019ve done. I\u2019ve numbered \u2019em so you don\u2019t miss anything. And it\u2019s long so you might wanna grab me some popcorn. Teddy eavesdropping on the neighbors. My Good Boy Deeds 1. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"rank_math_lock_modified_date":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2070","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-feature"],"featured_image_src":null,"featured_image_src_square":null,"author_info":{"display_name":"aroundwoodstoc","author_link":"https:\/\/aroundwoodstockmagazine.com\/author\/aroundwoodstoc"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/aroundwoodstockmagazine.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2070","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/aroundwoodstockmagazine.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/aroundwoodstockmagazine.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/aroundwoodstockmagazine.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/aroundwoodstockmagazine.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2070"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/aroundwoodstockmagazine.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2070\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/aroundwoodstockmagazine.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2070"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/aroundwoodstockmagazine.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2070"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/aroundwoodstockmagazine.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2070"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}