{"id":1603,"date":"2022-03-07T00:00:00","date_gmt":"2022-03-07T00:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/nice-cori.104-207-151-122.plesk.page\/?p=1603"},"modified":"2022-03-07T00:00:00","modified_gmt":"2022-03-07T00:00:00","slug":"kiss-me-im-irish-ish","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/aroundwoodstockmagazine.com\/kiss-me-im-irish-ish","title":{"rendered":"Kiss Me I’m Irish-ish – Around Woodstock"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n

\"\"Ahh, \u2018tis the month to celebrate all things Irish, the land of my people. After all, I have red hair, say \u201cwee\u201d a lot and love to have a good time. I even own a Dog Bar.<\/p>\n

But, each year as St. Patrick\u2019s Day rolls around, I can\u2019t help but wonder \u2026<\/p>\n

What if I\u2019m not Irish at all?<\/p>\n

My thoughts raced at all the possibilities.<\/p>\n

Maybe I\u2019m an Aussie from Down Under. I bet the punchy kangaroo is a brother from another mother. After all, I kicked dad in the nether region so hard one time he sang soprano for three days. That was funny.<\/p>\n

Or, maybe I\u2019m Scandinavian, like mom. After all, I love me a good ole slab o\u2019 salmon, and my crib just oozes hygge.<\/p>\n

Or, maybe I\u2019m German, since I\u2019ve been called a Wiener schnitzel a time or two.<\/p>\n

Or, wait, I have to be British, \u2018cause I wear a smart dressing gown to bed and turn into a right curmudgeon if I don\u2019t get my nightly spot o\u2019 tea. \u2018Ello gov\u2019na.<\/p>\n

\"\"
Oops. Sorry Dad!<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

OK, OK, I got carried away with all these what ifs. It was high time I found out the truth. So, the next day, dad sent some of my hair off to the lab. I could barely contain my excitement. Then, finally, an email arrived with the subject line, Teddy\u2019s DNA Results.<\/p>\n

As mom took her sweet time opening it, I once again pictured myself laughing rip-roariously with my fair-faced, freckled family in a quaint, little village nestled deep in the hillsides of ole \u00c9ire, Ireland. Yep, these results were going to confirm what I\u2019ve suspected for years \u2026<\/p>\n

\u201cAm I Irish, mom? Am I?\u201d<\/p>\n

\"\"
I\u2019m. In. Shock.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

After what felt like an eternity, she turned and said, \u201cTeddy, I think you should sit down for this.\u201d<\/p>\n

Taking my paw in her hand, she said, \u201cMy dear sweet son, this may be hard for you to accept, but you are neither Irish, German, Italian nor Norwegian. You, my dear boy, are a dog.\u201d<\/p>\n

Stunned, I dropped to my knees and stared at mom in utter shock.<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, Teddy, this is a good thing,\u201d she reassured me. \u201cYou are what all humans aspire to be. You have no hate, bitterness or jealousy in your heart. You show humans how to love unconditionally, and you accept everyone for exactly who they are. You are the purest form of love, so stand proud because your DNA results prove what we\u2019ve known all along \u2014 you\u2019re 100% perfect.\u201d<\/p>\n

Sure, it may have taken me a while to embrace my new identity, but that doesn\u2019t mean I can\u2019t still play the part now and then. Wink, wink.<\/p>\n

\u2013 Teddy the Spaz Man is a social media dog and not-so-humble Hallmark star living in downtown Woodstock. Facebook\/Instagram: @teddythespazman.<\/em><\/p>\n

<!–<\/p>\n

–>\n<\/p><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Ahh, \u2018tis the month to celebrate all things Irish, the land of my people. After all, I have red hair, say \u201cwee\u201d a lot and love to have a good time. I even own a Dog Bar. But, each year as St. Patrick\u2019s Day rolls around, I can\u2019t help but wonder \u2026 What if I\u2019m […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"rank_math_lock_modified_date":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[4,8],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1603","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-blog","category-home-blog"],"featured_image_src":null,"featured_image_src_square":null,"author_info":{"display_name":"aroundwoodstoc","author_link":"https:\/\/aroundwoodstockmagazine.com\/author\/aroundwoodstoc"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/aroundwoodstockmagazine.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1603","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/aroundwoodstockmagazine.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/aroundwoodstockmagazine.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/aroundwoodstockmagazine.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/aroundwoodstockmagazine.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1603"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/aroundwoodstockmagazine.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1603\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/aroundwoodstockmagazine.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1603"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/aroundwoodstockmagazine.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1603"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/aroundwoodstockmagazine.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1603"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}